Biography

"Although his exact age is unknown there have been various listings that have confirmed Laurence's birth date as February 11th 1984, but it has also been listed as July 3rd 1979 as well as July 16th 1982.

Laurence was born in a small town in La Union as Joseph Garcia. Both his parents (Mildred and Sigfried Garcia) were drunk farmers that met on a charity bingo for drunk singles sometime in the 1970's. It was said that upon talking to each other for the first time, the worst genocide in Philippine history occurred in Southern Mindanao, the bottom-most part of the Philippines.

In 1987, Laurence's parents broke-up; however, 2 weeks after the split, Sigfried was living in Saudi Arabia and was killed while trying to deliver a baby in the back of a bus whose driver had suffered a heart attack. The newborn baby was the only living survivor of the accident, and Laurence's mother adopted the baby boy soon after, having the baby shipped overnight via FedEX. This baby would die 6 days upon arrival in the Philippines; it was used to drinking a special kind of crude oil-milk concoction available only in Riyadh.

In the mid 90's when he was in 6th grade, Laurence spent 3 years in prison (for adults) for stabbing his Theology teacher - with a pencil....in the groin. This led him to discover the compulsory English & Writing, Physics and Math lessons in the institution, taught by the strict and virgin nuns of The Latter Day Gay Nuns of St. Maria Goretti. Needless to say, the poor lad suffered a great deal mentally and emotionally in Math and Physics but he had, for some strange reason, managed to pass (barely) in his English and Writing class.

Upon returning home in 1999, Laurence started writing non-fiction and fiction essays, a skill and passion that were inspired while his stay in prison. He then started making his own "magazines" (called fanzines), albeit photo-copied, they were crudely filled with a gloomy disposition lacking in most mainstream reading materials, both fiction or non-fiction. Laurence's fanzines still managed to develop a small underground following.

In 2001, Laurence's imaginary younger brother (Roberto) committed suicide. The loss devastated Laurence. Laurence went on a destructive alcohol binge for the next 2 years.

In May 2003 after waking up on the steps of a local Manila church covered in his own blood, vomit and urine, Laurence decided Jesus would not take him alive and continued with the activities of writing pieces that would grace his fanzines. Laurence went on mental trips to Tibet and Scotland to further cleanse his holy (sic) mind.

Though some rumors speculate that Laurence committed suicide on July 27th 2007 in Ermita, Manila, due to the painful and heartbreaking break-up with his IT Professional girlfriend of 4 years, there are still no confirmations to this fact but apparently, *someone* still makes the fanzines started by Laurence with what many say is actually a Laurence impersonator and this said impersonator supposedly updates Laurence's myspace and friendster accounts from time to time."

- taken from a reliable internet information database that's not Wikipedia.org